Blame it on the baby

When something goes wrong it helps to blame it on somebody else. It's even better when you can blame it on somebody that can't defend themselves. While it may not sound moral or even ethical, it works.
Recently, a friend of mine wanted to buy a hunting rifle as a present for his son's birthday. I'm a member of the NRA and I know a thing or two about hunting rifles so I offered up my services. We went to a local sporting goods store to see what they had behind the gun counter. It was the lunch hour on Friday and the place was packed. Hunters were picked up last minute necessities for the weekend at deer camp.
As we were looking over a few options I felt a deep gurgling in my stomach. I knew right off it would lead to bad things. Fortunately, it wasn't solid nor liquid, but gas. I pooted and it was a true stinker. World class. On the 1-10 scale in was a 17. But, this is a sporting good store and I felt assured I wasn't the only guy that had pooted withing the last few minutes.
Unfortunately, not 45 seconds later a couple walked down our isle. They were an average couple and the man was carrying a baby in some type of carrier. As they got near our area both stopped walking and got strange looks on their faces. I was pretty sure what caused those faces.
The father looked down at the baby saying, "Son, you just couldn't make it until we got out of the store could you?"
My friend was doing all he could do not to pee his pants. He knew I had pooted and that this poor small child was catching the blame. The couple made a B-line for the restroom to check on juniors britches.
"You're wrong for that," my friend said as he laughed. "How can you do that to a poor little baby?"
Easy I said. Since the youngster couldn't talk I knew he wasn't about to rat me out. Plus, no harm, no foul. On second thought, it was pretty foul.